We Quit Praying before Meals. What Happened next Surprised Us All:

 Categories : A Culture of Listening Activites for Families

 

If you’re thinking “She’s gone off the deep end this time”, let me explain:

For the last couple of weeks we’ve been talking about rhythms of attention. (here’s an explanation and an example from our family if you missed those). Many other rhythms flow from this one.

 

Reading the Torah daily prompted us to examine our basic assumptions about life. In some cases, we felt led to do things differently based on what we read.

 

Take mealtime for example:

Before, we prayed. Then one parent read the reading for the day while another served the food. The kids shovelled food into their mouths. After reading, we’d maybe check in, and everyone disappeared.

 

When we read here that God wanted us to bless and praise Him after we eat, we decided to try praying after meals. No big deal, right?

 

It was surprisingly awkward at first. The kids glanced at each other, at us, and wondered aloud, “Isn’t somebody gonna pray?” When we reminded them about  praying afterwards, they relaxed and kept shoveling. But I noticed something in myself:

 

Praying before meals was one of my most firmly ingrained habits.  Starting a meal without praying felt wrong. I told myself “no big deal”, but I felt somehow less than as a believer.

 

Behind this habit was a hidden belief about performance. When I stopped performing that way, things got uncomfortable.

 

God used this simple shift in our routine to remind me He doesn’t want a robot who performs the right actions. He wants my actions to flow from a satisfied heart. He wants me to remember Him in my satisfaction.

 

actions flow

 

When we pray after meals, my heart really does feel more…full. The prayer flows from gratitude and feels more genuine than ever before.

 

Don’t get me wrong, Jesus thanked His Father before and after meals. Since we’re told to pray in all circumstances, you’ll never hear me say it’s wrong either way.

 

After tweaking our mealtime routine, something else (even more surprising) happened. I’ll tell you about that next week…

 

This tiny example is just one unexpected blessing of experimenting with God’s word. What happens when you take these principles for a spin in your life?

 

What routine can you tweak so you can meet God in a new way?

(If you’re stumped, you’ll find lots of ideas in here.)



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  • Celanie

    We have discussed this tradition in our family before too. But we found several verses that showed Yeshua blessing the food and giving thanks for it before they ate it (John 16:11, Matthew 26:26-27, Mark 8:6 are a few) so we are still not sure. It is not a “weightier matter” to us though, so we have not focused that much on it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Always love your openess!!

    • mlekallio

      You’re right Celanie. Like I said, I would never tell anyone it’s wrong to pray either way, both because of Yeshua’s example, and the instruction to pray continually.
      I’m glad we experimented with obeying the command to pray after meals, because otherwise I never would have discovered those things in my heart, or the other good things that happened that I’ll get into later. I brought it up not primarily to convince other families to do the same (although I think it’s a worthwhile experiment), but to illustrate that when we take God’ word seriously, there are so many unexpected blessings, large and small. I’m so thankful for the way your family examines the word carefully and thoughtfully, and lives accordingly! Thanks for bringing that perspective!

  • Manuela

    Very interesting! Might give that a try.
    I’ll never forget when my brother, sister & I were teenagers and Dad decided we would stop praying before meals. How destabilizing!!
    He asked us why we pray and we had no answer, we were entering that “too cool” stage and just didn’t feel like discussing spiritual stuff with our parents, or anything for that matter. He had felt, for a while now, that prayer before meals in our family was beginning to only become a habit and not much else. He suspended it until we could come up with an answer. Well, let me tell you, it didn’t take too long for us to get back to him and to implement it again. We all did our homework and came up with reasons why we should continue this tradition. But the point was definitely made and we no longer took saying thanks for granted. I think it was a very beneficial exercice for us all.

    • Debra

      What a great story and lesson Manuela. And Hanna, perhaps you could blog about why we pray at meal time? I’m sure so many do it just because we’ve always done it. Like you said, it becomes a habit more than an opportunity to thank God for all His blessings on us.

      • mlekallio

        Debra, There are lots of great reasons to pray at mealtime. Jesus prayed and thanked the Father before a meal (before the food even showed up!) and we’re told to pray and give thanks in all circumstances.
        Also, it’s one of the few times many families are together, so it’s a way to connect.
        I’m guessing most Christians take their idea of blessing the food before eating from Jesus’ example at His last supper. That blessing was most likely part of a Passover Seder, but I don’t think it’s wrong to pray a blessing before an everyday meal.
        If we’re intentional and attentional, habit aren’t necessarily bad. If a habit isn’t accomplishing it’s purpose,it’s more life giving to develop a new rhythm that fosters gratitude, unity, or whatever fruit we’re trying to cultivate.

    • mlekallio

      Wow, Manuela, that’s an amazing story! I love how your father challenged you to look at the heart behind your actions. It’s such a great picture of our heavenly Father. Our actions matter to Him. So much so, that the heart behind our actions matters to Him too. He doesn’t want us to disregard one or the other, but to make sure they are in agreement with each other. He wants our motives and our actions to be one like He is one. Thanks for the great reminder of our Father’s heart!